Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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