Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
