apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Text me some of your sweat
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
