We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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