Define "chronic" masturbator.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
