even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
