Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
