what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
