I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I pour the whiskey from now on
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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