I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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