this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
