Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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