we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
