drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
