I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
