I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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