ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
