I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Vodka?
Forever.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
