I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
