i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
