Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize