apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I need moral support for this bender
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize