New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
