he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
