he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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