i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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