is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize