he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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