Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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