its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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