when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize