Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
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