Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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