"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Girls should come with a carfax report
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
