I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
