I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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