stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
