Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Im part way to drunk.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
