So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
