oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
its liver damage thursday
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
