2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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