Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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