Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
