got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
third nipple confirmed
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
