i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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