I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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