The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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