you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
