I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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