We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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