does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
