I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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