Swine flu is the new snow day.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm both gender and math confused
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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