I wanna bring you to show and tell
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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