this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Also, beer. Big fan.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
