My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
