Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
