Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
