she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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