I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
