he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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