That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
