So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
