I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
