WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
We got so high we made milksteak
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
