I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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